Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Pills. June 16, 2010.

“Are there any side effects to these pills apart from bankruptcy?” – Herman

Talk about a blessing and a curse. Medication is the best thing that ever happened to me and the worst.

Some people don’t believe in medication for mental health disorders. Some even believe antidepressants are placebos or that big pharma is carrying on a conspiracy. I do know that for cases of minor or moderate depression, the problem is best solved with talk therapy. But for a major depressive episode like I had, medication can truly be a life-saver.

I hate having to take pills to function. I’d go off them all except that I remember that both times I was hospitalized, I was “off my meds.” So dutifully, and out of fear, I take them.

They’re expensive – if I ever lost my health insurance I don’t know what I’d do – and they make me feel odd. Some make me tired, some make me too awake. Sometimes I can feel them working and other times they are like sugar pills. Every day is different.

I long for the day when I won’t have to take meds anymore. But I don’t know if that day will ever arrive. Until then I listen to the doc. Sigh.

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