Friends & de-friends. June 7, 2010.

"Why do you spend such energy seeking to please those whom you would never
wish to be like?" - St. John Chrysostom

* * *

There has always been friendship, and there has always been broken friendship. With the Internet we have a whole new way to have friends – and lose them. On Facebook, ending a friendship is as easy as blocking someone and de-friending them. It takes 10seconds and bang! Your friend is gone.

So often we react to this with mourning. It’s true that our friends here are not “in real life,” but they are real people, and we develop real feelings for them. If we feel depressed and lonely already, losing Facebook friends is as traumatic as losing them “IRL.”

But it might be good to reflect on the characteristics of the person who de-friended you. Are they judgmental? Do they gossip about you behind your back? Do they react uncaringly to your depression and pain? If so, then it’s possible you haven’t lost as much as you think. Would you want that kind of friend IRL? Would you BE that kind of friend?