“We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” - CS Lewis
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Today is the day I go to church every week. But I talk to God every day. Well, I don’t really talk; I ask. Why did this happen? How did my life turn out this way? Where were you? I seem to demand a lot of answers from the One who made me. But I haven’t heard any answers yet.
I’ve asked for so many people to pray for me, God must have a notebook full of prayers with my name in it. I know I am supposed to pray, “Thy will be done.” But I like CS Lewis’ quote, because I’m afraid to find out what God’s will for me really is. It all boils down to trust, and trust is something I don’t have much of right now – not in myself, not in God.
So I’ll go to church again today, and I’ll ask again today, if God will stay with me anyway. Because I’ve been told that even on days when I don’t believe in God, he still believes in me.
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